this long winter

oh winter. oh winter.honestly guys, this winter hit me in a bad way. i tried to stay positive, but most days were hard, really hard. only now that more days than not there's an absence of snow on the ground and i can hear birds out the open window and can walk with my jacket unzipped, only now can i start to see it clearer. let's forget the fact that today there was a new sprinkling of snow on the ground, april 15th -- for the most part we're coming out of winter, finally.this winter's been long on most of us. toronto had the coldest winter it's had in 20 years, and snow and/or ice covered the ground for months straight. i had a terrible feeling the whole time that i was losing my passion. it was terrifying, the thought of losing something you feel so at home in. the gaps between the work we did this winter seemed at times unbearably long. it felt like there was no momentum. i'd get excited about a project or a wedding (and we had more than normal for a typical winter here) but as soon as it was over, wham, the gaps just dragged. but i can see now that winter was like throwing a huge heavy blanket on my head, exhausting myself just trying to come out from under it. i blamed myself a lot, questioned things. it wasn't all bad. there were roadtrips and trips on airplanes, escapes, the pages of many books to keep me company as the snow continued on outside. but like any muscle, the creative one needs to be used regularly. i get antsy if it doesn't, like foot-tapping ansty with all this built up energy with nowhere to go. and it all goes down from there. i'm not sure i can do another winter like that.but now as the days start to stretch, bit by bit people have started coming out of the woodwork, and emails started up again about projects cast aside or forgotten about for the winter months. the stuff we have booked for the months ahead finally seems within touching distance. we decided to pursue a personal photography project, and we put it out there. i started working again hard & in earnest on a project i'd gotten the idea for back in november but then had let peter out. (it's almost ready). i've been writing again, and the pen doesn't feel as foreign as i worried it would, although the words surely come tumbling awkwardly through my hand onto the page, the motions of it all feeling good and comforting. picking up my camera more & more often. & the other week i started running outside. my muscles (all my muscles, my leg muscles, my brain muscles) are sore in a good way. they're waking up again. i'm relieved they are. slowly the excitement for what's to come is returning. & i'm realizing the passion isn't gone, it was just buried under what was this awful winter of ours.what are long winters for? maybe they're for our roots to dig deeper and deeper until they find a well to draw up from while above the surface we think we're surely going to freeze.i'm sure the winter was tough for so many of us, but take heart and un-bury yourself out of it with me.so, all this rambling to say : it's been a long winter, but there's much to look forward to. barefoot in the grass days, days when the sunlight streams in through the windows for hours. days when everyone & everything is alive and awake.it's a new season. that's cliche, i know. but things become cliche for a reason. and i am really glad it's here.friends, here's to  s p r i n g !written with inspiration from hannah nicole. photos from an escape south a few weeks back.