thoughts on seven years
the seventh wedding anniversary was properly celebrated back in august with a white wine sangria for jenn, a beer for dave, and delicious food at our favourite local spot. we walked by the lake and forwent gifts, instead writing letters to each other and trying to recall all past anniversaries, what we did, who we were back then. seven years.
you know, sometimes it feels like we are miles away from those people who made vows to each other at the little inn in the trees on august 19, 2006. and we really are. so much has changed and we’ve changed too.
in no particular order, some thoughts on what seven years have gently and graciously impressed on us :
{i} never stop dating each other. I don’t mean making a thursday night date night or getting dressed up or spending money on each other. i mean, remember back when you were first dating and you couldn’t stop talking, asking questions, finding out what made the other person tick, staying up until three in the morning every night? dave and i were teenagers when we met. and you know, dave is now a very different person from that nineteen year old boy i first got to know. i never want to stop getting to know who this guy is. so keep getting to know each other anew every day.
{ii} don't get boring. fight to stay interesting. fight to have new experiences, together and apart. fight to keep growing as a person. have time alone and apart and don't take it personally or like an affront to your relationship.
{iii} you're not the same. i think we've both finally come to see that working well together isn't so much about convincing the other person to think like you do, but about understanding that they don't and that is ok.
{iv} travel together. we both are naturally drawn to travel so this was happening anyway, but i truly believe that you learn the most about a person when you throw them into a new country/language/culture/situation. i think there's probably no better pre-marriage course than traveling somewhere new together.
{v} you're a team. that promise about 'in sickness and in health' doesn't only cover physical health stuff. it's like in that episode of friends where normally neat and organized monica reveals to chandler her messy and overflowing hidden closet. your 'sicknesses' can manifest itself in many fun and interesting ways. :)
{vi} your roles change over time and with seasons of life. sometimes you are best friends, sometimes you are lovers, sometimes companions and cheerleaders, business partners, sometimes parents, sometimes children. sometimes you're all of those things at once, sometimes just a few. it's an ebb and flow and learning to enjoy that ride where it takes you is key.
{vii} my dad once told us that you can get through most things in marriage if you simply are on the same page, both with the knowledge and security in the fact that you are both striving towards the same goals and end results, and i think he's right.
it's hard and it's wonderful. and i'm not saying we have it anywhere close to figured out but man i know that i keep loving him more than ever.
photo of us by our michigan girl jill devries :)